Bruce Greenwood (breenwood) wrote,
Bruce Greenwood

Telemarketer Baiting

So I get this call. Right away I know it's a telemarketer because the phone rings that weird ring that happens after you pick up the phone.

"Hello, can I please speak to Mr K Fietz?"

What the heck, I'm bored, and I know what's coming, so...

"Yes, can I help you?"

"Mr Fietz, I'm calling from the computer repairs department."

"Oh! Okay, how can I help you?"

"Mr Fietz, your computer may have some security flaws. We need you to read us a special code on your computer so that we can see if it's sending out false information. It may be out of warranty and..."

"Oh, okay, let me just go and turn on my computer."

"Alright, I'll wait on hold."

I put the phone in the sock drawer and walk away for three minutes.

I come back. She's still on the phone. I must admit I'm kind of impressed.

"Let me go and turn on my computer!"

I pull out my daughter's Disney Princess Magical Music Laptop. It has an LED screen with red backlights and plays plastic CDs.

"Can you see a button that says 'Start' on your screen?"

"Um... no, it says 'Letter Pairs'".

"... do you know which version of Windows you're using?"

"It's a laptop."

"No, your computer, not laptop."

"Yes, it's a Disney Princess Musical Magic Laptop."

She doesn't hang up at this point.

"Can you tell me what's on the bottom left of your keyboard?"

"A little button that when you press it opens a tray to put music in."

", what version of Windows are you using? What does it say on your screen?"

"'Choose Shoes'".

"Just a minute, let me get my supervisor."

Humdehumdum hum de hum hum hum...

"Hello, this is Barry." His name is clearly not Barry. "Can I just get you to tell me what version of Windows you are using?"

"Right now it says 'Letters'. Oh, now it says 'Choose shoes' again."


That was far too much fun.
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