"I want never gets."
"Daddy, can I please have a banana?"
Shouting to the lounge room, where Kelly is nursing Jade Louise (my 14-day old bubbagirl) - "Mummy, can she have a banana?"
Returned shout: "Yes!"
"Okay, sweetheart, here's your banana." I peeled the banana and handed it to her. She frowned.
"Daddy, it's supposed to be in a bowl!"
"...you don't need a bowl for a banana, sweetheart."
"But my fingers will get sticky!"
I sighed, reached over the oven and pulled out a plastic bowl with Shrek on it. Or possibly kittens. Something my in-laws had given her, so sickeningly cutesy, but hey, we didn't pay for it. I broke the banana in half and put it in the bowl.
"The bits are too big."
I broke the bits in half again.
"Daddy, you're supposed to cut them!"
"It's fine, sweetheart."
"YOU HAVE TO CUT THEM UP!"
At this point I snapped. I snatched the bowl off her, and to her screams and tears, I ate her banana. Every bite.
Then Kelly came in and cut up a banana for her and gave her a fork.
This story seemed much funnier before I wrote it down...